One of the ways both my sister and I remember mom is through her baking. There were several classic cookies, and similar treats, she made every year. Neither of us makes the whole collection, but we both have settled into a couple favorites.

For me they have become something I take around to share with friends. Which had led to lots of requests to share recipes. Since mom shared the recipes freely I figured I’d do the same for the ones I make all the time.

Fudge Nut Bars (without nuts)

These are really a year round favorite, but at Christmas usually our households will go through several trays.

Ingredients

Bars:

• 1 Cup Butter
• 2 Cups Brown Sugar
• 2 Eggs
• 2 Tsp Vanilla
• 2 ½ cups flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 3 cups rolled oats

To make bars GF:

• Replace flour with 2 ½ cups all-purpose GF flour.
• Add 1 tsp Xanthan Gum
• Make sure to use GF oats.

Topping:

• 12 ounces chocolate chips
• 1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
• 2 tbl butter, melted
• ½ tsp salt
• 2 tsp vanilla

Instructions

Topping:

Mix chocolate pieces, condensed milk, butter, and salt in double boiler (or heat in microwave using 30 second bursts). Stir until smooth. Add in vanilla when done heating.

Bars:

Preheat oven to 350°

1. Cream together butter and brown sugar.
2. Add eggs and vanilla.
3. Add dry ingredients to creamed ingredients.
4. Spread two-thirds of mixture on bottom of 15 x 10-inch jelly roll pan, pressing into all the corners.
5. Cover with topping.
6. Drop remaining oatmeal mix on top and swirl over topping.
7. Bake at 350° 25-30 minutes.

Christmas Tree Almond Press Cookies

These require a cookie press, and can actually be made in many colors and shapes – but in our family the almond ones were nearly always Christmas tree shaped. See picture at the start of the recipe.

Ingredients

• 1 ½ cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 tsp almond extract
• ¼ tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 4 cups flour
• Green food coloring (Wilton Kelly Green was Mom’s clear preference)
• Decorations if desired.

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400°

1. Cream butter until very soft.
2. Work in sugar, then egg, then vanilla, then almond
3. Sift together dry ingredients and add gradually.
4. Color as desired. Don’t fear over mixing, make sure the color is what you want and evenly distributed.
5. Form cookies with press on an ungreased baking sheet. Decorate if desired.
6. Bake at 400° for 8-10 minutes.
7. Cool for a minute on the tray, and then transfer carefully to a wire rack until cool.

It’s hard to know what to include when writing a remembrance of Mom. No one post can really cover it all. So I’m not really trying. In addition to being my mother, mom was a minister, teacher, mentor, pastor, gardener, grandmother, and friend. She could be serious, stern, loving, warm, and funny. When the situation called for it, she could switch between those mode quickly.

At 15 she felt called to ministry, and was immediately told by her pastor that ministry wasn’t for women. Since Quakers had encouraged women to be ministers since our founding, Mom promptly began attending Abington Meeting. She went on to earn Masters and then a Doctorate in Ministry and a recorded Friends minister. Along with my father she served as pastor to two churches. Before finally becoming a teacher and sharing her gifts with her students and colleagues. Over the course of her life she found a multitude of ways to let her life speak.

Trying to tell my mother she wasn’t welcome never got a meek response.

For roughly 40 years her life intersected with those of George School’s students and the larger community there. Her goal was always to find ways to help the students grow into the best versions of themselves.

My first two years as a student there I ended up with a locker about 8 feet from her office door. She was running the student co-op program at the time. Every student at George School performs basic tasks like cleaning classrooms and serving meals, and her job was to issue those assignments. Mom believed deeply in the program, and in making sure privileged students did their share. I know first hand that not all my peers appreciated the value of that form of learning. But we have heard from former students in recent weeks, and found thank you letters from students, colleagues, and even peers at other schools among her papers, all testifying to the mark she left on those around her.

Some of those students who grumbled about early co-op assignments, appreciated her support when they found themselves needing extra love in a hard moment. I recall vividly an evening a friend of mine recognized another friend in crisis, a quick call and mom returned to campus to set in motion interventions that saved the life a student. She could draw lines and set boundaries that teenagers need in one moment, and open her arms for hugs we needed even more in the next.

As we have heard from friends and former colleagues many people have shared memories about her craft projects, and how she taught them to knit, quilt, bake, garden, and other crafts. For Mom those were all forms of connection.

She baked, mostly with flour that she could not eat, so others would have a treat to enjoy. Our family households are filled with wedding quilts. Knitting projects done during faculty meetings were often presents for others – and the chance to sit and knit with another person was a chance to form or deepen a friendship.

Even after she stopped formally leading congregations mom still found ways to do the work of a pastor as well. She loved performing weddings for friends, family, or even strangers. At Silver Bay she served as summer chaplain, and spent time as interim chaplain at Adirondack Friends Meeting. Never one to stay on the sidelines, she stepped into all kinds of situations from memorial services to medical crises because she saw a need she could fill.

My wife once saw my mother jump into another family’s medical crisis. The doctor was doing a poor job of explaining a scary situation to young parents in an ER. So poorly the father was nearing the point of striking the doctor. Mom inserted herself and managed to calm the father. She validated his fears and reminded him of the importance of stay calm for his child’s sake. She also took the doctor to task for not being clear and supportive and pushed him to help the parents understand. We have no way to know what happened to the child, but in that moment my mother was able to help everyone find next steps.

Having grown up in an often divided family, she sought to find and build connections within the family she built and between us and our community.

Everywhere she went, my mother tried to make friends. Often those friends would find themselves called on the help in crisis. When a student needed more counseling than the school could provide – she called a therapist friend. When a student needed advanced dental work and lacked the means to pay, she called another friend. She’d come home from nearly any place with stories of people she’d met and the interesting things they had taught her.

I miss her. I expect I always will. But I’m happy for the time we had together, and the lessons she was able to teach me. Especially the importance of connections with others.

In the weeks and months that followed this posting, thanks those who read and shared it and our related message on Facebook, my sister-in-law received most than 500 postcards and letters from across the country welcoming her students, some sent gifts and donations. The messages came from people of all walks of life, including other immigrant children. Many of the messages were read to the entire class and she sent postcards home for their families to enjoy.  These simply gestures were a light in a very dark place for these new and often frightened Americans.

But there are still children, and adults, around the country that live in the same fear these kids do. If you know people in your community who immigrated to the U.S. please try to make an effort to be kind and welcoming to them. Show them the best that America can be, especially when the news shows so much of our worst.

Original Post (Nov 2016):

My sister-in-law is an ESOL teacher in Maryland. Yesterday she found herself trying comfort her class of terrified 6-8 year olds who wanted to know why America hates them. Many of her students are war refugees who have seen bombings, gunfire, and family members killed. Many of them are muslims, and even at young ages are aware of what has been said during the election about them and their families. Coming to America was supposed to mean safety and a government that would protect them, and now they fear that is gone.

Right now we can’t fix the Supreme Court, and we can’t undo all of the damage that has been done to our nation this year, but we can help these children.

We are trying to get as many people as we can from as many places as possible to send them postcards.

Tell them you’re happy they are in America. Tell them you don’t hate Muslims. Tell them that you love them. Tell them whatever is in your heart.

Postcards can be sent to:

Ms. M’s Class

Templeton Elementary School

6001 Carters Lane

Riverdale, MD 20737